Hey look...I'm web savvy!

Well, not really. But I suppose this is a step in the right direction. I've created The Dirty South in an effort to let my friends, loved ones, and the occasional misguided internet surfer know what I'm up to down here in VA. And let the record show that I would love nothing more than a comment here or there and (dare I say it) fellow contributors. Whoever said "Too many cooks spoils the broth" must enjoy some bland soup. So...let's light this candle.

I think there is no better way to kick off my blogging career than to provide everyone with a play-by-play of last weekend's extravaganza i.e. UD Homecoming 2006.

Miss Pamela Darmofalski, Miss Dana Schwartz and myself set out on the road Friday evening with wide eyes and heads full of hope. It truely felt like Christmas Eve, except for Dana. Pam was kind enough to offer up the camry for the road trip...so needless to say our soundtrack consisted of Bruce, jersey techno, and rap and/or hip hop favorites circa 2003. Ah and let's not forget her sporadic bursts of road rage, which were more endearing than anything else. As we rolled into Newark, I of course had to make a detour beer run for a certain underage sibling who shall remain nameless. I did, however, manage to pocket the change.

Ah, Shaggy's. I still fail to see the appeal of this townie magnet, but my cohorts have found themselves trapped in the "I got Shagged" tomfoolery. So that's where we visited on Friday. Bad music, but cheap beer with timely service. And hey, we got to see some familiar faces...and isn't that what homecoming is all about? Nothing too exciting went down...obviously everyone was saving their energy for the following day. Good call, kids.

Waking up in the Courtyards makes me feel nostalgic. Except this time, I was sleeping on the floor along with approximately 30 other recent grads. That is so college. We were at the stadium parking lot and raring to go by 7:30am. I played my first game of washers and made a horrible showing...but I brushed it off and funneled a beer. Not only that, but I used my homemade, cleverly-named funnel which was quite frankly the bell of the ball. She is called The "Pour" Decision. Now if that isn't wordplay at it's finest, then I don't know what is. Obviously, from here on out gets a little blurry, so I'll only provide the memorable highlights:

• Pam wore her star-shaped glasses the entire morning, and then disappeared for about 8 hours.
• In response to our "We're like the plague...you can't get rid of us" t-shirts, my brother suggested that it should have said "We're like the plague...we kill a lot of people." To his credit, that was a lot more original that the trite remark of how we should have used Herpes instead of the Plague.
• I stumbled into/tackled the old 7304 and d*fault clan. It was a festivus miracle, but unfortunately left as quickly as it came. We're still looking into the events that occured between 10:45am and noon.
• The hockey old heads visited the mixer where the female to male ratio was easily 1:4. Now that's what I call a party.
• We traveled to a few house parties while jumping in bushes along the way. I ripped two shirts, but didn't realize it until 10:30 the next morning.
• Picaro's house has a talking deer head with a microphone for your freestyling pleasure ( think Big Mouth Billy Bass). Hambone was brilliant on the mic using terms such as "BRrrggh BRRgghh AH!". It's poor little computer chip brain didn't know what to do...and then I tried to make out with it.
• I hung out with some hippies and got to eat a burger from Jake's.
• We ended up at Kate's for the night where my drunk brain decided to dance on Tom Traver's mini stage for at least an hour by myself. 38 beers will do that to you.

All in all a spectacular weekend. We enjoyed a lovely brunch at Deer Park the next morning where we relived the events and pieced together the day like some sort of blackout puzzle. The goodbyes were slightly depressing, but in the back of my mind I knew another reunion was not far off. cough*Legwarmers*cough.

So that was my maiden voyage on the S.S. Dirty. I hope you all had as much fun as I did...and keep your eyes peeled for the next post...