Quality time

Like most recent grads, I was chomping at the bit to get home for some Thanksgiving friends and family fun time. That's not to say that the warm and fuzzy is held exclusively for those fresh in to the working world, but going back to the Delaware bubble this time around felt especially cozy. The eating and drinking went as expected (lots of both), but there were a few surprising and noteworthy moments throughout the weekend that I'd like to share with you loyal readers.

• I said the "F" word for the first time in front of my parents. This may not seem like a big deal, but growing up in the Snyder household meant being scolded for saying "shut up." Me and Popsacola were watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in our pajamas (as is our unspoken tradition), and as some of you may know, the weather was not the sunniest that morning. I couldn't see the token all-American high school marching band from Anytown, USA because of all the raindrops on the camera lens, so I mindlessly blurted out "Why don't they get a fucking windshield wiper." Talk about a matzah ball. My father looked at me with a puzzled expression as if to say "Isn't it a little early for profanities?" He was probably right...and I must admit I'm a little ashamed that I can so carelessly drop the bomb. All I can say is thank God Kathi wasn't in the room. Of course it took my dad about 4 seconds to yell into the kitchen and rat me out...which was promptly followed by her scurrying in, pinching my ear, and calling me a "sailor." An acceptable reaction because believe me, if she had heard it for herself, Thanksgiving very well could have been ruined.
• After some Black Friday shopping (bonehead move of the century by the way. The Concord mall is already crappy enough, but when you pack in every moronic townie looking for buy-one-get-one-free tablemats and shoelaces to give out as stocking stuffers, it's downright painful) I pulled the familymobile into the ol' garage unprepared for what I was about to see. There it was...hanging out of a cardboard box in a dimly lit corner...a fake rubber limb. That's right. The very same gag gift I dismissed as idiotic and corny. In the home where I grew up. To think that the people responsible for my upbringing spent their hard-earned money on such a useless item is disheartening. But it's not really about the money. It's about the irony. I think we can all appreciate that.
• My cat hates me. It seems that in her old age, she's forgotten the good times we used to have together. Like when I tried to put her in the bath tub. Or when I dressed her up in a pink dress and bonnet. She sits on everyone's lap except for mine, but somehow manages to squeeze in enough time to maim my forearm when I innocently tried to brush her fat stomach. Oh little baby Chub Chub...where did we go wrong?
• And last but certainly not least, I revisited the mosaic. You know..the mosaic. For your viewing pleasure, I snapped a few pictures of the monstrosity. Here she is:

See? I told you. You can't make this type of stuff up, people. I hope this doesn't haunt your dreams like it does mine. Although, misery does love company. Anyway...until next time...